Tuesday, August 19, 2008
22:16
Wow..and once again im back. i read through my last two posts and im kinda bemused by what i wrote. so emo but it's so darn me..heheh..it's been over a year that i've last blogged here..nostagia..somewhat squirmy..like visiting abandoned grounds..i'll talk about JC life here today. Im expecting no one to read this btw.
Life in RJ is stiffling. im not sure if it's the pressure or just me. but the recent bout of mental blocks sure pose an omen man..it's 5 weeks to promos!sigh..i must study but sfter the disastrous o levels..i seem to have lost my drive, motivation, my spirit. i need newfound strength and funnily enpugh. i think i just found it right here and now. my skin really inspires me. it capitalizes everything that i've been through so far and looking at it really made me wanna cry. as i've said, no one is supposed to be reading this.haha..
cry. why?it's been tough. you've never been to the bottom till you've hit it. i've always wondered why ppl get so indignated when i comnplain about my results. i get it now BUT i understand cos i was once like that. what is it like to be insignificant and unnoticeable. how bad is it really? as bad as you see it. really. i've survived these before i can do it again. true, nothing is working against me this year. everything's been horrible. i've had my good times so far, but it ends with a ringing silence. life without its goals is like a snail without it's shell. you lose sight of home, you shrivel, you die. but right now this snail without its shail can be a slug. haha..goals. to better myself and to enjoy my life to it's fullest without regrets. at the end of the day, you nvr let anyone down. i realise. you NVR let anyone down.
The saddest thing in life is in fact, letting yourself down.
"Lord, I'm doing, all i can. To be a better man."
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
| 