Sunday, September 17, 2006
21:06
ok..im going to get this straight once and for all..firstly..lame excuses are not ones unless there are no backups to them..and my lame excuse would probably be nothing in the first place cos i cannot divulge something that i dunno..moreover..its not of me to do smthng and then not own up to it..tat im sure of and thank you for i do not have amnesia and thus am perfectly aware of the memories i have..i may have done many things but i swear that i owned up to every single one of them..and speaking of that entry from god knoes how many ages ago..i meant not "testifying in court before the honorable judge" who so you referred to as a dog but yet i cannot pretend that the "case did not hold" at all..i followed the tide as best as i could for that was the minimal tht had to happen for it was totally not possible if the topic arises every 5 minutes of conversation..may be exaggerating but that was wat it felt like..another thing..if i know tht somebody had a somewhat grudge against me..i cannot pretend that everything was sugar sweet and be oblivious..no i cannot..and for the "staying though they hate me thing"..its a freaking assumption on your part..none of it is accurate for you do not have first hand info but if your "beloved sources" had that info..trust me..when it reaches you, isn't it second hand already?btw..also bout the influence thing, its not bullshit cos pple do admit to the issue of you possessing it..and mind you..this is first hand cos its a face to face..anyway..lets move on to the friends section..ever wondered whether it was more of a flaw in character rather than "ursurpation" or however you may spell it?well..a joke is not a joke when it goes to far..get the drift..remember i said i'll get both sides of the story?well..i did..apparently letting pple read your messages was a bad idea..'visit a fucking shrink'?wow..tats kinda harsh isn't it ..not trying to attack you here..just saying how things can sometimes be of your fault..dun blame the crevices of your life on things that you could have averted if you tried..but oh well..you're coping fine..i talk too much then..and did you know tat fingers are being pointed between you two?i dun understand..not sowing discord here..but just musing at how you guys can actually be so pally but then..never mind..said before..never ask me to fathom the way women(some) think..honestly..you're leading in a good life in class and stuff..minor issues like this one at hand would never affect you..glad to noe..glad to noe..to be truthful..i think ive told you before..knowing you was the best and worst thing that happened in my secondary sch life..i was given a chance to change which was wat i needed then but yet you are the "what" which made my whole "journey" miserable too..i had to handle everything you throw at me..including times where i seemed like an idiot or puppet beside you in public but you never noticed what you were doing..till the last straw finally snapped..you were the victim and i was the one at fault..when there was the time when you turned the bond of us four to a 3-1 situation..you may not noe this but that was wat happened and when we gather to tok about it we realised that it was the fault of us four..all..have you?we cannot and shouldn't dig up the past but when i think about this..i cannot help but feel that history has somewhat repeated itself..for better or for worst as you have said?different issue at hand..probably similar endings..another four month period?maybe its just me..a major character flaw where b cos of that no one decides to hear me out..but maybe it isn't and its you with a crew behind you to mange the ship..i dunno honestly..and dun flatter yourslf as this big "mafia boss"..no offense but its just so amusing..wtheck..pretend ive never said that..you are tired..i was tired once..not anymore..after so much "cross training"..guess my stamina built up.. one more thing..its time to pay unfinished debts huh?well..bring it on..for this time round..i noe that im perfectly not at fault maybe there is but yet did anyone bother to tell me?is this truly wat gossiping is?wanting to talk about it yet afraid to face an open conflict?my only request would be that someone talk to me and discuss..if it has come to an end for all of us..not just you but all of us..tell me why and we call it a day..an end to a really long day..i have no regerts..(courtesy of william hung)..lol..holy cow..read finished a book recently..my sister's keeper by jodi picoult..holy cow..im officially a fan..read it if you stand a chance f&fs..
P.S.:i may lose the battle in the end but im sure i will never lose my footing in it.
SHADING OFF--"Night is just the medium for sleeping thoughts"
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
22:32
sian..i must sae i really dunno wat to do..and im not changing my blog song anytime soon cos i too lazy and have no ideas on wat song..haah..so give ideas folks..anyway..exams are coming and though i keep emphasising on how important it is to sudy at this crucial period..i must sae tat im not practising wat i preach..man..i feel damn it scared sia..getting complacent..shit sia..oh..and todae i read on the news dunno wat students get counselled for criticising teachers on their blogs..i dun see wats the prob..provided that those are factual accounts la..haha..and against the prob at hand..i must sae that i have received many suggestions on wat exactly to do..but im leaving that to after exams..gonna need more time to figure out wat are the probable consequences to watever may happen..ahah..as pple who are close to me noe..im really insecure and hates to be accused/misunderstood..but not if things are clarified in the end..noe this sounds kinda "not macho" blah blah but hey la..this is called keeping in touch with one's feelings..ahahh..its a good trait to be able to be vocal on this kind of stuff hor..haah..so bye f&fs..have a nice night..
SHADING OFF--"Night is just the medium for sleeping thoughts"
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
23:24
woosh..finally settle the whole new blogskin..sian..but still need to settle bout removing the irritating blogger navbar..did it once..wonder how i did it..anyway..gonna go liao..gotta slp..its late..song playing is chasing cars by snow patrol..will be changing soon..erm..yq..sorry for not linking..forgot to do so..next time round..sorri ar..nite f&fs..
SHADING OFF--"Night is just the medium for sleeping thoughts"
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
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