Friday, December 29, 2006
23:05
ok..its like six weeks since i last posted..my blog should be offiically dead by now but i guess not..im really emo todae so i feel tat i will write something..
its funny how time really flies..it seems only yesterday tat i was still biting my house's door grills..yet a few more days and its gonna be 2007 and im taking my o levels..at times i would just marvel at how people live and people die..i could just stand in the middle of orchard road and see the masses come and go..morning to evening and to midnight..life goes on in every way..we experience loss and gain..success and defeat..it seems so funny how we humans keep in touch with our experience via memory..something so away yet so close to the heart..
just the other day, i was walking in the very same park where my late grandfather and i used to walk together holding hands..i was very young then and we would usaully be munching on cookies..lol..i tot i would not be very affected with his death..i did not cry during his funeral and so on but yet when reality sinks in, it really hurt. now and then i would still be walking there and i could practically envision myself there again..the ixoras, occasional jasmines and the ever cobbled path. of course, everything's different now..they 'refurnished' it..everything looks new ans so on..but i still recognized it as the path i once tread on with my grandfather..sigh..we never treasure things still we finally lose them..its so cliche yet its so true..darn it..lol..
this holidays' been really packed..choir and outings caught me by the hook..i've never had so little time for thinking before..lol..i guess it helped..for once i stop being so thorough..i let go.. and it feels so good..its the exact same feeling when you release a bird from captivity..sounds dumb till you finally tried..the sky is pretty endless and so is life..the possibilities and opportunities..should i disregard this and focus only on what i want, i'll lose it..lol..
a lot of funny and weird stuff happened these holidays..my 1 dae malysia trip..me and mel's woodlands trip..lol..im starting to like living..i tot it was always tat dry..but hey..showers will come after hot weather..i guess mine just started,,i wun be blogging like evr again after this due to o-levels..am i worried?definitely.i really dun think im ready for school..not in the physical sense but mind-wise..i may be in some form of peace but the stress of next year will eventually consume it..my social life hopefully will not take a toll..its always tat which takes the oomph out of me and tires me out..walking away from these situations will not solve them but yet it gives me peace..conflict is just futile..i guess i found what i really want..i've said in many posts that i need something of this and blah of that..but eventually its called peace.all the blahs and blahs are just peace..of mind and heart..much as i say this..i know there's a limit to how much peace one can retain..does anyone really think that he or she can stay with the peace they've gained?its ridiculous..something is bound to crop up..life thats it..stubborn as it seems..i want my peace..wanna keep it so bad.really.i want my peace.thx for reading f&fs.
PEACE--IF ONLY IT COULD BE KEPT AND FELT
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
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