Monday, January 29, 2007
19:10
you must think i'm a freaking hypocrite.darn.just that im busy nowadays la.i doubt you noe anyway.lots of things been happening.in all four directions too.we're also so close to it.fweesh.you noe you're treading on my nerves dude?too much and i might just break through.for once dude, shuush.
life. so mundane.
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Friday, January 26, 2007
23:08
yay..todae's prac was a success..we were all in tune for all three and a half times we sang mep..cool..then everyone sang was ok la..lol..ate quite a lot todae but nvm..change subject..l'm really shocked at the news of e high cost of the you-noe-what..gosh..i dun have that much can?gotta pay installments liao la..plss..pls make it less cheaper or pls let lee let us off..argh..joel..you'll be the death of me..sheesh..i dunno la..freaking out now..i love wild horses..thx nat for uploading onto iwebmusic for me..its now my ss blog song..lol..im not gonna use it for my main blog..cos im into cancer by mcr now..haah..love it..its been cold these few daes from what i can deduce from my classmates actions..jiani grumbling away..janson wearing his uniform for xtra warmth..elisa who had a scarf or something around her etc..lol..i diidn't feel much of it i must sae..guess my metabolic rate too high..too much heat..lol..hmm..mr tan told me tat i was diff todae..wonder what that meant..gd or bd..i have no idea..anyway..mel got hurt again..lol..dumb la you..you so injured already still get yourself knocked..next time careful la..and sulin was supose to be online todae so that i can send her some files..where are you?!never mind..haha..next time i guess..ahha..gtg..
life. so mundane.
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
21:00
all i ever wanted to do was make you proud. all i ever wanted to do is to gain a compliment. but why? i dun feel accepted. you two just dun care and she just thinks im emo. i did it to save money and to reduce your work. i tried to be thoughful, i tried to help but you had to call me a fool and that im stupid. years i studied, years i strived. have you ever thought why? i did it for you..i fucking did it to get some attention. your precious who could study and make you proud. i practically lost myself within books. i never had outside life. yes, it was my fault at times but yet, why can't you ever noe what i feel?sometimes i really feel you hate me for being what i am. you seem disgusted and put off. you neve respect my take on the arts scene, you treat my commitments as rubbish.what's with pasting that stupid guide to teenagers article on your wall when you never heed its advice.dunk it i say. what's the problem with you?just because you were this sports and active boy, must i follow in your footsteps?you are at times a reason why i hate myself.both of you.you never appreciate my thoughts but reprimand me for thimgs that aren't what i plan.teach me to do right and not put me down for something i did wrong.im really tired at times.i have to keep comforting myself and sorting my own thoughts out. i can never turn to anyone of you for my thoughts are just a passing-by notion.i feel really lonely at times.i hate this.why do you have to be nice and all after a session?do you feel guilty or just being random.i hate posting this kinda stuff but this is where i let go..forget it..no one understands.i may be wrong but no one in this world have true companions for you're left with only yourself at the end of it.and you, can you stop thinking so highly of yourself?look at me and realise, im not you. we have different feelings and different interpretations of things. i admit im more emo but doesn't that mean i need more support than you?when you two laugh and make fun of me when i express a thought, i appear indifferent.im bleeding inside for i never knew what's wrong with me.you two seem so pally together i seem like the odd bunch within us four.at times, i wonder if there's an us.
this world is such a mess. if the Christians are right and judgement day is coming. i would pray it come soon.i may fear that day i may not. but living through this rollercoaster ride may reach its limits sooner than i expect it.
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
23:01
am i falling for you? even if i am i can't. its sad to noe that some things just can't happen.should i blame it on my present or my past?it sucks when you noe that th whole world sees you in a light you dun wanna be in.the spotlight wun go off neither e cheers.i can never shake off this me cos it is after all already incorporated in my soul. my spirit sinks whenever im put against it.i struggle.honestly.im despaired at times at the futility of it all.i dun really wanna accept me but i have no choice.can i be what i wanna be or drop to something worse than now?i dunno.can you stop berating me for my state and give me some air?can you see me as you see others and give me a similar chance.rather, can i give myself the hope i've always disregarded?help me find me though its not possible.help me find what im looking for.the pool before me is not of tears but of sweat.effort spent at trying to be society's puppet when ppl wanna escape it. im no 1 to conform yet im trying to.im afraid of not being accepted.for 3 years i drag myself along bumpy roads and battled many an emotion.i suppress my words and broke through my shell.i still see me inside though not so much anymore.a leopard never changes its spots.i can though but my scars remain.i'll never be him and im possessing wishful thinkings.i have to accept me but can they.feel so left out sometimes but wat the hell, who gives a damn?im just considered drama at home.this is wat i feel but do you guys care.i need some support but i only find my shadow offering.maybe i should have been born autistic.i wouldn't have to handle all this shit.sigh.i've tried to take things as they are eons ago.i've done this b4 and lived through it.acceptance.peace.i am.three main things my blog has bordered on.found all three yet they might as well have stayed hidden.life.so mundane.
short post todae peeps.i got plenty to study and am looking forward to chinese new year.its gonna be my turning point.gtg slp soon.song playing is ride for you by danity kane.love it.danity kane really rocks but i think pcd is also not bad.not sure which is better.lol.nite guys(f&fs)..
life.so mundane.
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
21:20
im freaking pissed now. the stinking blogger did not show my post of yesterdae's and now its like gone. still dare sae its 100% done. f*** ass blog. tat was one of my most important posts somemore.F F F F F F F F F F F F F.Argh.
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
YOU STINKING MALFUNCTIONING BLOG!YOU CAN BLOODY GO CRASH.
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
22:30
argh!!!!I cant believe that the connection is so slow!!!its been like wat two weeks or so la..i cant even tramsfer to a google account..ahha..im playing around with colours now but im gonna stick with this la..i bought joel's present todae with mel pl and yk..we like shop around tm for two hours plus la..then we cannot decide..joel sae no need to buy but we still did..he said must have xin yi can liao which i bet we did la..ahha..im watching ms swan on youtube now..she's freaking funny but she is very irritating la..i can't stand her voice..i can go to the extend of calling it f*****g disgusting..bet its worse than top-10-to-12-percent-you-noe-who..blah..haha..she probably distorts electric signals from the mic also la..haha..mon would be sec 1 orientation for choir..im in charge of the water bomb station..muahaha..you peeps betta bribe me..haah..if not..lol..ahah..its gonna be fun i bet..anyway..we'll have 20 pizzas coming in..lol..mon would also be my el presentation dae...lol..im nervous la..but i hope i do well..lol..ahah..gtg..ms swan is done and so are my funny commercialss..adios peeps..(btw..wun be linking or relinking for a period of time..cos i time constrained..sorry..will inform when available..)
PEACE--IF ONLY IT COULD BE KEPT AND FELT
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
22:16
im pissed with the connection la..its too clogged up to even get a 49s youtube show down..i cannot watch all those crap commercials la..or even get backers..argh..get so sian thinking of those who get to watch youtube due to non faulty cables..sigh..nvm..can study more anyway..lol..e choir comm was informed that sec 4s prob cannot go pattaya this year cos you-noe-who dun allow due to olevels..but i seriously wanna go cos its the last competition for sec 4 s..sad..okok..tats all 4 todae..gtg..bb f&fs..
PEACE--IF ONLY IT COULD BE KEPT AND FELT
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
Monday, January 01, 2007
22:21
Happy New Year peeps!this post is also my 50th post ao its quite glam..haha..i noe you guys hit two hundred blah but hey..i dun blog often..haha..after a real emo time e last post..i think this one should be in a lighter mood..sch is starting in two daes..crud..i hope its better than last year..may everything go smoothly..ok..i gtg..just typing this post so as to wish everyone good health and a great year ahead..best of luck f&fs!..
PEACE--IF ONLY IT COULD BE KEPT AND FELT
perhaps tomorrow.maybe yesterday.
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